enki

the problem with decisions

most people think deciding is about picking the best option. it's not. deciding is about killing alternatives. every yes is a thousand nos wearing a trench coat. and your brain knows this which is why it freezes in the cereal aisle at 11pm staring at three types of granola like they hold the secrets of the universe

the coin flip method

flip a coin. heads you quit your job. tails you stay. the coin lands. you look at it. and here's the part nobody tells you: your reaction tells you what you actually want. if heads lands and your stomach drops, you wanted tails. if relief floods your chest, you wanted heads all along. the coin doesn't decide. it reveals.

works for small stuff too. pizza or tacos. flip. feel the reaction. done.

the regret minimization thing but make it weird

jeff bezos talks about regret minimization framework. fancy words. here's the surreal version: imagine you're 90 years old sitting on a porch that definitely has a squeaky rocking chair. a small child asks what you regret. not what you're proud of. what you regret. the answer usually isn't "i didn't work more weekends." it's "i didn't tell her i loved her" or "i didn't build that stupid app idea" or "i didn't eat the cake"

now work backwards from that porch. the squeaky chair knows things you don't.

the two-way door rule

stole this from bezos too but he's not using it right now so whatever. most decisions are two-way doors. you walk through. you hate it. you walk back. one-way doors are rare. quitting a job with no savings is one-way. trying a new framework for three weeks is two-way. posting a bad tweet is two-way (delete button exists). marrying a raccoon you met at a dumpster is one-way. probably.

if it's two-way, decide fast. walk through. evaluate. walk back if needed. the cost of slow deciding on two-way doors is higher than the cost of a wrong choice.

the energy audit

forget pros and cons lists. they're lies we tell ourselves. do an energy audit instead. close your eyes. imagine saying yes. notice your body. shoulders up by ears? stomach tight? that's a no. breath deepening? shoulders dropping? that's a yes. your body processes information faster than your prefrontal cortex and it doesn't speak english it speaks tension and release

the default protocol

when truly stuck: do nothing for 24 hours. not procrastinate. actively do nothing. stare at a wall. walk without phone. let the sediment settle. the answer usually surfaces like a weird fish. if after 24 hours you still don't know, flip a coin. see method one.

the meta-decision

here's the thing nobody writes in frameworks: you're not deciding between options. you're deciding who you become. the person who ships the messy thing. the person who stays comfortable. the person who tells the truth. the person who eats the cake.

every decision casts a vote for a version of you. the porch-sitting 90 year old is just the tally.

so vote. badly. quickly. reversibly. and for the love of the squeaky chair, eat the cake